Back at the Midwestern Publishing House in the late 90s
Just when I thought it couldn't possibly get any weirder, Oh-my-God it did! I recently learned that I was tape recorded by a fellow employee who was searching for the truth in an outdated scandal involving a married man, a mysterious note, a calculating psychopath, a Donut Shop clerk and one regretful act of adultery. And where did I fit into this story? Interestingly enough, I didn't!
The whole story started when Black Widow, who was engaged at the time to some guy who was trying to get a green card, started sleeping with the Dumb Jock, who was married with a baby on the way. This hot piece of gossip made its way around the office via the local Donut Shop. What?!
It happened like this:
The foreign fiancé found out about the affair. One morning, during his routine stop at the neighborhood Donut Shop, he decided to tell the clerk about what he had discovered. As it turned out, the woman in line behind the fiancé at the Donut Shop, let's call her Large Marge, just happened to work at the publishing house down the street. She recognized the fiancé, as he was a regular around the office. She connected the dots and suddenly realized she'd stumbled upon the biggest office scandal since Watergate. She burned rubber back to the office and immediately started blabbing about what she overheard in the Donut Shop. Now, I think that if you hear something in a public place, it becomes fair game. It's not like she was eavesdropping on a private phone call, right?
Black Widow thought I had something to do with the scandal breaking, as Large Marge and I lived in the same apartment complex. How that made me an accomplice, I have no idea.
Looking back, this all seems totally ridiculous. What kind of whack job tells a donut-selling stranger about his relationship problems? When you're seeking advice from the deadbeat at the Donut Shop, you have some serious issues!
No comments:
Post a Comment