Back at the book publisher in the late 90s...
There was a temp named Paul who worked in the production department. Nice enough guy. Somewhat non-descript is how I would best describe him. He was maybe in his mid-30s, quiet, buttoned up. He sat in a cube around the corner from my cube. My cube was always very noisy: lots of people stopping by, music playing, the phone ringing, etc. Typically, if there was a ruckus, it was coming from my cube. Except for this one day.
All of the sudden, loud, like sonic-boom loud, dry heaving noises filled the air. It was so loud, that Jane, who was around the other corner from me, called me and said "What the hell are you doing over there?" Funny how she immediately thought it was me!
Turns out it was Paul and he was vomiting loud enough for the entire company to hear. In the trash can. In his cube. And he had apparently never thrown up before, as in between bucketfuls of vomit, he was yelling for someone to call 911 because he was convinced he was dying. And we all just stood there, kind of frozen, like kids playing the statue game. I mean really, who was going to go help a grown-up man blow chunks into the trash can? What could we do, put a cold washcloth on his head and give him sips of water? Our fearless leader finally stepped in and led him out the door, to her car, where she promptly drove him to the hospital. (He was fine, of course. Mild case of stomach flu.)
The rest of the time that poor, pukey Paul temped at the office, we all very politely referred to him as the Vomit Monster. It didn't take him long to request a new assignment from the temp agency. And it didn't take long for his story to become legend. I haven't seen most of my former coworkers in almost 12 years. But, I guarantee that all of them would be able to finish the story if I started with "Remember that time when Paul threw up at work?"
3 comments:
he was asking for someone to call 911? That is priceless.
Yes, he honestly believed he was dying. Can you imagine being our age and never having thrown up? I guess it would be a pretty scary feeling.
Um...maybe he didn't drink or have kids...I'm going to go ask David if he ever threw up before he was 50 (he's had lots of near gagging incidents, since having kids--he has a very strong gag reflex)!
I remember drinking champagne after doing shots of peach schnapps for hours...the room started spinning when I laid down and then I had my first run in with the porcelain tub! I just remember holding on for dear life, b/c I thought I was going to spin out of control! So young & naive at 14! ;)
Why is Lauren tell puke stories? Are a lot of kids puking in her class or do they sit around & tell stories from when they were young?! ;)
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