Isn't it Ironic?

When I sit down and really think about what irks me the most about losing my job, I always come back to the same thing: I got played. Plain and simple. No other way to state the facts. No alternate route from A to B. And that simple fact grinds on my nerves more than anything else in my life. I keep looking back, wondering what clues I missed, what hints I didn't pick up on and what I could have done differently. Did I miss something completely obvious, like a "Road Closed" sign right before I drive off of a cliff? Or a "No Swimming" sign on a beach right before I'm devoured by a shark? These are the things I ponder late at night, when it's just me and my MacBook.

I suppose I'm the ultimate irony. I detest corporate America. And that's never been a secret. I like to have the last word. Again, not a secret. And if anyone was ever going to stick it Prison Media, it was going to be me. Once again, not exactly a news flash.

Until they beat me to it. To quote the song "It's the good advice that you just didn't take." I mean, right? I gave so many others advice on how to escape from corporate America, yet there I still was, working like one of Santa's elves right before Christmas. And it just kills me that I couldn't see how ironic I was being. I took pride in being the poster child for productivity, and yet, behind my back, out of ear shot, the plot was being hatched. It wouldn't have mattered what kind of insanity I pulled off, what impossible deadlines I met, how well I performed my ridiculous job duties. My job was going to India. Period.

One of my greatest faults is not being able to move on from injustices. I suppose that's why my best friend calls me "Kate I Can Hold a Grudge Forever." She is so right. I readily admit it. Ten years from now I'll probably still be wishing that a dump truck of karma shows up in Boss's driveway. Hell, that's too nice. My wish for Boss is so vile and inhumane, that I can't post it here because my Mom reads my blog. Just think of that urban legend about the zoo keeper who gives a constipated elephant an enema and ends up being in the wrong place at the wrong time and suffocates in a mountain of elephant feces. It's like that. But much worse.

In other news, I'm pretty sure I found a new job. I'll know more next week, but it's looking fairly promising. [Applause.]