I can clearly see my former boss standing in my doorway, asking "What are you guys talking about? What's so funny?" with a look of panic on her face, certain we were talking about her. And if we were talking about her, like we were going to respond with "Oh, we're talking about you!"
Or, the editor who always smelled like garlic and was a close talker, a lethal combination, getting right in my face to go over edits. Plus, she never wore a bra, so she was too close for comfort in more ways than one.
There was the crazy admin who one day suddenly claimed to be allergic to scents. If you walked by her office wearing perfume or smelling of clean laundry, look out! She verbally assaulted anyone who smelled like anything other than nothing because it was a violation of her right to breathe clean air. Did I mention that she always smelled like cats? Anyway, she ended up quitting. Hopefully she didn't end up working in a grocery store. Or a daycare center.
But, perhaps my favorite coworker story at The Prison involves one of the highest ranking "captains." We were at an off-site team building meeting at the local events center. This is the same events center where the minor league hockey team plays. During a break from our team building "exercises," I was standing in the upper seating area, looking down at the ice arena. The hockey team name "Warriors" was painted on the floor and the crew was getting the rink ready for a game later that night. Well, this genius comes up to me and says "Wow, what kind of paint sticks to ice? I didn't know you could paint the ice!" I just looked at her, kind of worried that someone this intelligent was running the company. I finally said "The paint is on the floor, under the ice." And she was like "Ah-ha, that's how they do that!" Her pure sense of amazement was frightening, like she had just discovered how to split an atom or break the sound barrier.
And that my friends is a prime example of the promotion of stupidity in corporate America.
1 comment:
Ace! I love your take on the corporate environment. I too sense the irrelevancy in the workplace. I keep in touch with a few of my former colleagues who feel comfortable sharing moments in the office that only I would understand. I guess they know it won't make it back to the office. I just laugh and shrug it off because it no longer affects me. And your paint on ice piece, nice! I worked with foam core a lot and you'd have to peel back the top paper to reveal the sticky stuff, apply the poster, then roll the paper back on top of the poster to aid in rolling out the air and assure the stick. I don't know how many times people would come by and ask "how did you get that poster under the paper?" Really!? That sad part was that I worked with a bunch of "intelligent" engineers. Thanks for sharing your stories. I'm always up for a good chuckle.
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