I'm asking because I ran into a former coworker recently and it was awkward. And weird. And most definitely an epic fail. I'm still thinking about it because when I worked with this person, I liked her. We were friends. And we worked together so long ago that two presidents have been elected since we were coworkers, so clearly we should have had some catching up to do.
I've always thought that working together binds people together like graduating from the same high school. Or, at least it should. But, seeing how I am a big picture type of person, I see the big picture for what it actually is: Working together doesn't mean anything more than being on the same payroll.
Which means I need to rephrase this: We were friends. With this: We were friends AT WORK.
Most coworkers are not people you would seek out friendships with; you become friends because of circumstance. Sure, there are the rare coworkers that become your best friends, but for the most part, when the job ends, so do the relationships with coworkers. This is one I have struggled with for the last year as I've tried to move on from the Prison era and rebuild my life with people I like and trust. There are a few people on the fence and I have yet to decide where they will land. But, I think the defining factor is simple: If you had my back during the India Project; you're in. If you didn't, you're out and you're never coming back in.
Which brings me back to the opening of this post. If you work with someone for years and get along just fine, why can't you have a quick conversation when you run into each other years later? Oh that's right, it's because some people just plain suck. There, I feel better.
6 comments:
I met one a person at work who became one of my best friends in Colorado, however, I only worked there 3 months. It was the only good thing that came out of working at Sexual Data! :-)
sorry about the typos!pl
Hmmm, would that be our friend who lives in The 'Boat?
In an ideal world it's comforting to imagine a 50/50 exchange. Some friends expect at least 50% reciprocation. It that realistic? Maybe not. Is it worth seeking? Absolutely.
And when you do find the right ratio for you, you can filter those friends who aren't making the cut. It's easy to take offense if your ratio isn't aligned with someone else's. I would try and blame the numbers (ex: their ratio sucks) vs. taking it personally :)
Dude, you better not dump me! (Yes, of course I make everything about me.)
It's a rude awakening to realize that so many work friendships don't make it outside of the office as the years pass by. But...the ones that DO last are a treasure!!
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