The Year in Review

All in all, 2010 was a great year on the personal front. But a not so great of a year on the career front. Does one of those things trump the other? Yes, in fact, it does. The single most important thing I've learned this year is that personal happiness is key to life. I never realized how miserable my job made me until it was no longer part of my life. That's not to say that I don't want a job. I absolutely do. But, a job will never again rank higher than my family, my happiness and my sanity.

Here's what I loved most about 2010:

Movies: Toy Story 3; Winter's Bone

TV: Friday Night Lights (By far, the best show of the last decade.)

Music: Eminem's Recovery; Kid Rock's Born Free; OneRepublic's Waking Up (released in late 2009, but I didn't discover it until January, so it counts!) And yes, I have a soft spot for musicians from Michigan.

Books: The Hole We're In by Gabrielle Zevin; Room by Emma Donoghue

Destination: A day at the zoo with my two favorite kiddos. I have a weird obsession with the hippo:

Best local news photograph:

Caption: Employee Judy Fernandez is taken into custody by Sgt. Doug Ross (no relation to the Cook County ER doctor played by George Clooney) at the Taco Bell in Del Camino during Operation Private Dancer on Wednesday morning. The operation is a year-long local and federal drug investigation. (Addition by Kate: In case you weren't aware, the local Taco Bell is also participating in Tacos for Touchdowns...)

Significant days of 2010:

February 9: FedEx delivers my new MacBook.

March 25: The official launch of Kate Off the Clock.

July 4: Take first vacation in 10 years where I don't have to check emails and worry about work. Very relaxing and enjoyable. Go figure!

August 1: After multiple phone interviews, I finally land a job as a Production Coordinator at a book publisher. There's just one catch: They NEVER give me anything to do and after multiple inquiries, I finally get this email at the END of September:

I’m sorry to say we’ve had some recent restructuring in (name withheld). Unfortunately, this means we will not be outsourcing any of our file management or project management for the time being. If it is OK, I will keep your contact information on file, and if things change I will let you know.

August 16: The Girl starts kindergarten and I begin my new career as a Room Mom. I think that career will be short lived!

October 21: The Husband and I visit Vegas, and despite my fears, we do not return with bed bugs in our luggage. Let's call that vacation a success!

December 25: Our family celebrates our best Christmas yet. Santa brought me a fancy new toy: Digital video camera!

December 31: I recap my year and realize how truly fortunate I am. Now, if I could just find a little something to keep me busy and bring in some money, I might have the perfect life.

My next blog post will be all about New Year's resolutions. Yippy! Happy New Year! Here's to staying up until midnight and actually seeing 2011 roll in. And here's to also enjoying some cheap champagne and confetti, and reflecting on what a great year 2010 was. Rock on!

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Christmas is a holiday that spawns many memories. Some are fantastic, some are hilarious and some are of the OMG, did that really happen variety. Here are a few of my favorites:

MEMORIES

On Christmas Eve in 2000, as a newlywed, I had an epic meltdown while making sugar cookies. I'm talking legendary, like The Husband and The Brother will still be laughing about it 25 years from now. It involved yelling, swearing, nearly breaking the countertops, and the movie "Gladiator." Oh, and the trash can was also a key player.

On Christmas night, right after The Girl had turned 3, she told us she was excited to go to bed and wake up in the morning again to what Santa had brought. We calmly explained that Santa wouldn't be back for a whole year, so there wouldn't be any presents in the morning. She kept looking at us, not quite comprehending how long a year is. Finally, I said "Santa won't come again until you're 4." She went upstairs, sad and pouting. A few minutes later, she yells down the stairs "Am I 4 yet?!"

As a kid, my brother and I were major snoops. We not only found the presents before Christmas, we opened them up, inserted batteries if necessary, and played with them. Well, one year, on Christmas morning, my brother noticed that one of his presents was missing. He slyly says "I sure was hoping to get a ___________ (one of the few things I can't remember!)" My mom suddenly has a look of panic on her face, runs up the stairs, and returns with said gift.

Another childhood memory of the classic sort involves the roller-skating rink, a go-cart and a phone call. In the early 80s, The Brother and I were big into roller skating. (Don't judge!) The local skating rink was giving away an impossibly cool go-cart for Christmas. We had entered the contest at least 4 dozen times, so we were sure of certain victory. Well, one night, right before Christmas, the phone rings and it's the skating rink asking for my brother. I remember this scene so perfectly, it's crystal clear:

My mom: "It's the skating rink!!"

My brother, running as fast as the 6 Million Dollar Man, and grabbing the phone: "Hello! Hello!"

I stood there, picturing myself zipping around the neighborhood in the go-cart, only to hear a sad, defeated voice say "Oh, OK, thanks" and hang-up the phone.

"What did they say?" asked my mom.

"I won a stuffed Santa," said my brother, looking like the saddest boy on earth. I think my parents still have the Santa. It was about 3-feet tall and very nice. But not a go-cart.

There was the Christmas Eve when the husband and I, alone for the holiday, indulged in way too much holiday cheer of the liquid variety, and opened every single present. Christmas Day was not too exciting that year.

THE BEST

My all-time favorite Christmas gift from childhood is the Barbie motorhome. Remember that one, those of you who grew up in the 70s/80s? If not, go here for a quick look: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1xU20Yg_7Q. It was a GMC knock-off and it was SWEET. I hope my kids get a gift that they will remember forever. Maybe this year is the year, as The Boy is getting a stylin' Big Wheel and The Girl is getting a unicorn castle. Yeah, don't ask.

A close second is the Sesame Street Clubhouse. It was all sorts of awesome and if I had saved it, I could make a small fortune selling it on eBay today. See above for a pic.

THE WORST

There was the Ziploc of liquid, left on my desk at work, with a note attached to it, explaining that it was Friendship Bread batter. Lovely.

Why is it that the people who really shouldn't bake are the ones who give baked goods as Christmas gifts?

One year, my grandparents gave me a homemade something. There is still much debate as to whether it was a clock, a large watch, or something else entirely. For the record, I had the world's best Grandma and I still miss her.

THE MUSIC

Growing up, the only Christmas music my parents owned was "A Perry Como Christmas" or something like that. Whenever that cassette appeared each year, we knew it was officially Christmas. Thankfully, there are much better choices for Christmas music now. My favorite modern Christmas song is "Christmas in Hollis" by Run-D.M.C. This year, I discovered a couple of new favorites: "Peppermint Winter" by Owl City and "Silver Bells" exceptionally done by Relient K. Check 'em out!

To quote "Peppermint Winter" by Owl City "What's December without Christmas Eve?" Here's to magical Christmas memories, baked goods of the edible sort, and celebrating with the ones you love. "Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night."

Holiday Party Recap

Believe it or not, the Husband and I had a fabulous time at his company CHRISTMAS party. I mean, such a good time that I was still feeling a little like I'd had too much of a good time on Sunday. TWO days later. That could also be because I'm old, but we'll go with it.

So, you read it here first: Company Christmas parties can actually be fun! And the food was awesome, plentiful and fully cooked. And, to top it all off, they had a karaoke machine. Nothing screams "I'm an inebriated idiot" like a karaoke machine at a company party. And no, I did not partake. And neither did the Husband. But, if you know him, you already knew that. For the record, we did dance like fools to "Footloose," but really, how can you judge us for that?

Aside from spinning "Footloose" the DJ pretty much sucked. I felt like I was trapped in an early 90s, Top 40 hip-hop bar, as the worst music from that era ("Tootsie Roll," "Rumpshaker" and "Baby Got Back") seemed to dominate the evening. And no Michael Jackson! Really? Yes. Oh, but wait, we did hear a woman decimate "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough" on the karaoke machine. Hilarious.

The desserts were perhaps the best part of the evening, and I'm really not a huge dessert eater. But, chocolate covered cheesecake on a stick must be sampled, yes? And fortune cookies dipped in fudge are a definite must, too. Even my fortune was awesome, too bad I can't remember it!

I'll end with two of my favorite words: Free beer. And not just crappy keg beer, but fancy, expensive bottled beer. God Bless the Husband's company!

Cheers!

I Love this Christmassy Time of Year!

Whoa, when did December get here?! It MUST be December, as the kids are full of extra energy, the newspaper is so full of ads that I actually have to hunt for the content, and there seems to be a Christmas show on TV every night, delaying bedtime for the under 4-foot crowd.

Oh, and another thing about December, hiring is out of the question, as everyone is on vacation. So, while I continue to look for a job, I'm OK with knowing that I won't be getting a job this month. And why is that? Because "I love this Chistmassy time of year!"

I love Christmas, especially the traditions and non-stop activities. What should we do today? Build a gingerbread house? Decorate the tree? Hang the lights? Wrap presents? Bake holiday cookies? Address Christmas cards? The possibilities are endless!

Oh, and let's not forget my favorite pastime: The holiday work party! We'll be attending the Husband's party this year and I'm actually looking forward to it. Why? Because his new company knows how to party in style. No menu restrictions and 3-hour food delays at this party! Open bar! Fancy venue! Discounted hotel room at a fabulous downtown hotel! What's not to love? We are going to have a rip-roaring good time. What defines a rip-roaring good time? Well, it's somewhere between a few drinks and peeing in the elevator. And yes, someone at my old, old job actually peed in the elevator at a holiday party, so I now use that as a parameter when deciding how much alcohol to consume.

The holidays are particularly enjoyable without having to schedule time off, argue about whose turn it is to take off the week of Christmas, and worry about signing all of those ridiculous cards for vendors. And yes, I hope certain people at the Prison get reindeer poop and stale popcorn balls for Christmas. I also hope they get fruit cakes soaked in curry from Bombay.

Don't be surprised if I suddenly announce "I'm going to be a dentist" after my 400th viewing of Rudolph. My favorite part of Rudolph is when Hermey and Rudolph sing "We're a Couple of Misfits." The line "You can't fire me, I quit!" is always sung extra loud, with feeling, by me. I suspect it will always hold a special place in my heart.

Here's to happy holidays, spiked egg nog, Christmas cheer and truly enjoying the season. XOXXO

It's About the Haves, Not the Have Nots

Gobble, gobble!

Thanksgiving is the official kick-off of the holiday madness. For us sane people, it's a little difficult to steer clear of the doorbusters and early bird specials. However, I like my sleep, so getting up at 3 a.m. to go shopping does not really sound that appealing. Plus, believe it or not, I'm done shopping! Woot-woot!

So, today is a day to be thankful and appreciate all of the good things in life. I am very thankful for all that I have and even though this year has been a career bust, I still have plenty to be thankful for.

I'm especially thankful for the following things:

• I've only had to utter the phrase "Don't lick your sister" once.
• I get to eat deep fried turkey with people I love and cherish.
• I have a #1 fan who keeps me blogging! (That's you, Murph!)
• I get to see the Detroit Lions on TV for the first time this season. (Will most likely turn out to be a bad thing, but for now, I'm excited.)
• My husband is awesome and started our day out right with Starbucks and donuts.
• My kids will celebrate Thanksgiving with their best friends, O and C. (Bring on the Jello Jigglers!)
• I know to cook the green beans prior to making the green bean casserole. (That's a shout out to you, Lyons!)
• I won't be tripping over the dog, enroute to the table, with the turkey in hand. Yes, that actually happened when I was a kid. It won't happen today because the only pet in this house is a fish named Mimi!
• Mike is an honored guest at today's feast. I believe there are already 12 of the pomegranate variety chilling in the cooler. Is it too early to have one? What the hell, it's a holiday!
• I'm especially thankful that my parents live down the street and get to join us on holidays. Plus, my mom makes a mean apple pie!
• Our Thanksgiving eve tradition is to watch Planes, Trains and Automobiles. "You're going the wrong way!" "How would they know where we're going?"
• And, I'm especially thankful that I met the Husband for the very first time on Thanksgiving in 1998. We've been on a non-stop, fun-filled adventure ever since!

Happy Thanksgiving to all and remember that turkey isn't good medium rare and holidays are best when celebrated with the people you love. Bon Appétit!

So, What's Your Plan?

These days, I sure get asked the dreaded "what's your plan" question a lot. I'm not exactly sure how to answer that. I've kind of explored every option in the last year. I've sent out hundreds of resumes and networked with a zillion people. And here I am. Still sitting here. Still not working. And let me be the first to say that I'm really tired of looking for a job. It's exhausting. It's demanding. It's disappointing. It's just like a real job, only there's no paycheck for my efforts.

But there is no giving up, it's just not me. Plus, there are some pretty lofty goals on the board for 2011. And I keep thinking of a quote from my all-time favorite movie, The Silence of the Lambs: "All good things to those who wait." Granted, I shouldn't be taking life advice from Hannibal Lector, but it kind of fits, right?

Eventually, something will pan out; it just has to. In the meantime, it seems like I've encountered every flake in the business world and have endured disappointment after disappointment. Luckily, I see the big picture and I know that life is good and I'm very lucky.

While I'm waiting for something to pan out, I've been doing all sorts of things I couldn't do when I had a full-time job, like Christmas shopping in the middle of the day on a Tuesday and volunteering as a kindergarten room mom. It was kind of heartbreaking for me when one of the kindergarten boys said "What's your real job?" You're looking at it, kid! My new job is helping 5-year-olds tie their shoes and lifting the short kids (mine included) up to the monkey bars at recess.

Later this week, it will be the 1-year anniversary of the "phone call" and the day I first learned about India. I'm not sure how I'll celebrate on Thursday, but I can guarantee I won't be going to the Star of India for lunch. Funny how a lot of the people I know hate India a little bit more now than they did before the India Project. Case in point, my dad telling the Indian customer service rep to "put someone on the phone who speaks English!" My dad rocks. Or the Husband telling the credit card customer service rep to cancel his card. When the guy in India asked why, the Husband said "Because you're in freaking India." Love the Husband.

Also coming up in the near future is the expiration of my confidentiality agreement with Prison Media. I had to give them one year of silence. Come December 11, I'm officially free. Forever.

One more thing that will be easier this year: Finding the perfect turkey! I won't be digging through the bin of frozen turkeys, after work, with the rest of the working stiffs, searching for the elusive 16-pound turkey. No, I can go to the store on a weekday morning and casually select my bird. In fact, I think I'll do that tomorrow. Gobble, gobble!

It All Starts Here.

In case anyone was wondering, I've always hated corporate America. By always, I mean the majority of my 37 years. What kind of kid hates corporate America? Simple. One whose father gets transferred all over the country and makes her childhood a blur of moving vans, for sale signs, new schools and new friends. I vowed pretty early on that I would never work in corporate America. Alas, my dream finally came true late last year!

I won't turn Kate Off the Clock into Kate's Memoirs, but I will give the nutshell version. By the time I was 13, I'd lived in 6 states. And my family didn't make simple moves, like L.A. to San Diego or Detroit to Chicago. No, we made cross country treks. Multiple times. As a kid, the most dreaded question anyone could ask me was "Where are you from?" What 9-year-old kid answers a question like that with "All over, really." That answer immediately implied my parents were carnival workers, right?

When I was 7, my family moved to Alabama a few days before the start of the school year. On the day before my first day of school, my brother accidentally stabbed me in the arm with a utility knife. Supposedly it was an accident. Thirty years later and I'm still not so sure. Neither is my scar. Anyway, I had to go to the hospital and I was given a tetanus shot. Well, surprise, a tetanus shot in the ass when you're 7 is really not so fun. It hurt like hell and it totally affected my ability to walk. On the first day of school. IN A NEW STATE!

I limped into the school, a rickety old Catholic school that must have been built pre-Civil War, and was promptly introduced to the worst second grade teacher in the history of school: Ms. Pitts. I swear on my kids lives, that was her name.

She was this skinny, oily, short woman with a haircut like Julie Andrews in Victor/Victoria. She was dressed in an ill-fitting pants suit with flats. And the southern drawl was straight out of Deliverance. And I'm pretty sure I was smarter than her. At age 7. I remember the day like it happened last week and it was 30 freaking years ago! That's how traumatic the experience was. And to top it all off, I was all alone at the new school, as my brother had been sent to a different school due to the 4th grade being full because of a post-Vietnam baby boom. I dunno, that's just what I heard with my 7-year-old ears. Plus, the Brother had just stabbed me, so I don't know if I would have been thrilled to see him anyway.

As luck would have it, the cafeteria was in the basement of this God-awful school. Basement=stairs. Stairs=pain and embarrassment for my sore, aching body. I think everyone thought I was handicapped after catching a glimpse of me negotiating the stairs. I can't remember who was nice enough to sit with me at lunch, but I'm sure someone must have been, because I don't remember sitting all alone. Growing up, my recurring dream the night before the first day at a new school was this: It's lunchtime, I'm all alone and every time I attempt to sit down at a table, I get pushed out or told to go away. This was a legitimate fear, but thank God, it never actually became reality.

I don't doubt that I came home in tears after a full day with Ms. Pitts. I swear she wasn't speaking English and the throbbing in my butt made it impossible for me to focus anyway. To top it all off, my family had moved to Alabama from San Francisco, so the immediate rumor on the street was that my parents were swingers. Really? Yes. Most people in Alabama only knew California from the movies, so imagine their concern when a family from over yonder moved in.

What's the point? I swear I had one. Oh yes, the point is that these experiences from my youth are what fueled my lifelong hatred of corporate America. If it wasn't for my dad's corporate job, I could go to the same school every year, grow up with the same friends, have a place to be "from." I know it sounds a little dramatic, but it all made sense when I was 7.

When I was 13, my dad told corporate America to shove it, moved our family to Michigan and embarked on a self-employed adventure. I always say I'm from Michigan, as I lived there all through junior high and high school, and until recently, it was the state I'd lived in the longest.

I'll end with this story: At the same school in Alabama, during a social studies lesson on seasonal farming and migrant workers, a classmate raised his hand and asked the teacher "Is Kate's dad a migrant worker?"