From the Vault

I just found this old entry in my corporate America journal and it really made me think. Part of me really wishes I could find this type of optimism in my career again. The other part of me doubts I ever will...

When I was 22, I officially entered corporate America. It was the fall of 1995 and I was a recent college graduate. I was also broke, sleeping on a friend’s couch and living on grilled cheese and cereal. My luck changed when I was hired as a page layout technician at a large book publisher in the Midwest. Unlike most of my college pals, my job actually coincided with what I studied in college: Journalism Graphics.

I remember the interview and I distinctly remember thinking “I will do whatever it takes to get this job.” It seemed like such a cool place to work: A whole slew of twenty-somethings running around in jeans and T-shirts, shouting out publishing lingo, the latest and greatest Macs and software on their desks, who wouldn’t want to work there? I was memorized by the environment and fast-paced nature of book publishing. It was like a newsroom with cubicles.

Kathie, who interviewed me and later became my boss, seemed incredibly cool. She couldn't have been much older than me, which was a plus. Yes indeed, I wanted that job and I didn't even care what they offered me, I was taking the job no matter what.

The offer came two days later and I accepted it with a twinkle in my eye and the dream of money in my pocket. As soon as I accepted the job, I did two things. First, I convinced my very good college buddy Lance to live with me and as soon as she caved, we promptly rented an apartment. Second, I went to Best Buy and bought the Alanis Morrisette album “Jagged Little Pill.” It’s funny now, looking back, how much the songs on that album would come to define me: “You Live, You Learn,” “Ironic,” and “Head Over Feet” were almost the stories of my life.

So, I was now a player in the game of Corporate America and I was making a whopping $22,500 a year. I thought I was rich, considering I was used to earning about $5/hour. From now on, I decided, I was going to buy bottled beer and spring for the good stuff. The words “Bush Light Draft” were now only spoken along with fond memories of Ball State. So, I had all of the major decisions made: Cheap apartment with college pal, Bud Light bottles in the ‘fridge and Alanis on the stereo. I was officially ready to start my job.

I walked through the big, glass door that first day as a recent college graduate grateful to have a job in my field. I entered that building smiling and optimistic and ready to begin a new phase of life. I remember thinking, "My first job... A real job with an established corporation. A salary. A cubicle. And most importantly, a vast array of co-workers." If only my optimism could have lasted.

Observations 16 years later:

• Kathie: Second worst boss ever, behind Boss, of course.
• Alanis: Yes, I still own it and yes I still love those 3 songs.
• Bud Light: It's still my favorite, even living out here in the land of microbrews.
• Lance: Still my best college buddy, although we weren't very good roommates.

The Facebook

I don't get out to the movies much, mainly due to the Husband's disdain for going to the movies and my disdain for the price of going to the movies. So, I'm usually a few months behind on the latest and greatest releases.

On Saturday, the Husband and I finally watched The Social Network. I loved it so much I watched it again last night. As far as filmmaking goes, it's an A+. The pacing; the cinematography; the acting; all top-notch. But, the message is what I keep thinking about. Actually, I think there are two messages to ponder.

The first message is the obvious: Mark Zuckerberg is a world class A-hole. Or, at least the filmmakers want us to think so. He stole the idea for Facebook and then kicked his partner out of the company over jealousy issues. I think those are facts, although they are highly disputed facts. Zuckerberg still maintains that he didn't steal the idea for Facebook: "If you guys were the inventors of Facebook, you would have invented Facebook."

I could care less who invented Facebook, I'm just glad someone did. What did we do before Facebook? How did we look up our long-lost best friend from 3rd grade before Facebook? How did we keep tabs on everyone's whereabouts prior to Facebook? What in the world did we talk about before the status update? How did we know that the nerd from 7th grade ended up being a major hottie before Facebook? The list goes on. And on.

The second message I took away is that there are still great, life-chagning ideas out there. Now granted, it's highly unlikely that another billion dollar idea like Facebook is on its way. But, it's very likely that the next great technology or web site is on the horizon. And the big question is: What will it be? I don't think you have to be a socially inept genius programmer to have a fabulous idea. Granted, it's much easier to implement your idea when you know how to program like a tazmanian devil on crack. Having a wealthy, handsome friend to bankroll your idea is also a major plus. As is the smart ass sidekick with a taste for Appletinis!

Oh look, I'm arriving at the point. I've finally realized that I need to create my own job. This job hunting thing really isn't going so well, so I'm taking it in a new direction. I have many ideas to sort through and think about and I'm hoping I'll land on the one that works best for me. And since I don't need to earn a millions dollars, my odds for success look promising. And I think I'll use Facebook to help me.

Ideas, thoughts, opinions and offers of employment are always welcome additions to Kate Off the Clock. If we don't know each other, please look up Kate Off the Clock on Facebook.

Here's to a 2011 full of original ideas, paychecks, new Facebook friends and Adidas sandals as a fashion statement.

The Great Goals of 2011

I am not a fan of New Year's resolutions. They usually fade from memory by my birthday, January 12. And I am not alone in the fading. The gym is ridiculously busy the first couple weeks of January until the fading kicks in. Same with the healthy section at the grocery store. And don't even get me started on the vitamin aisle.

This year, I'm making a list of goals. Some are lofty, some are simple and some will take some serious effort to achieve. Putting them down here, for everyone to see, is a fantastic motivator. And believe me, I need some motivation at the moment.

First and foremost is the job. I need one. I'm still holding out hope that I can find enough freelance/contract work to keep me busy this year. I'm also holding out hope that I can continue to work in my field.

Goal Number 1: Find a job. Send out at least 10 resumes every week. Get better with the follow-up. Be more persistent. Start making money. Oh, and networking, networking, networking.

Goal Number 2: Post more often to the blog. I'd like to shoot for two posts per week, even if they're short. Also, drive more traffic to the blog. So, if you like the blog, please share. And if I fail to post regularly, please call me out on it.

Goal Number 3: Run. I did my first 5k in 2010, so this year I'm going bigger. I don't need to run like Forrest, but I do have my eye on the Denver Half Marathon in October. Plus, I need to put those expensive running shoes to work. They keep looking at me in the closet, all sad and lonely, inducing feelings of guilt and laziness. Maybe I should put them back in their box. Plus, the holidays were full of food. And by full, I mean full of chocolate, homemade Chex mix, gum drops, cookies, Hershey's kisses by the dozens, and carmel corn. I mean, is it my fault that I had to eat the entire plate of Santa cookies on Christmas Eve to keep the Santa magic going? Guess I'll blame the kids for that one.

Goal Number 4: Watch less TV. So long, Jersey Shore, Celebrity Rehab and Teen Mom. I think I lost IQ points watching you anyway.

Goal Number 5: Read more. I have a very long list of books I'd like to read this year. To the horror of my Mike's Pomegranate-loving neighbor, I've never read the Harry Potter books. So, those are on the list. I just started The Help, so this goal is looking promising.

I'll call those the Core 5. There are other minor goals on the list, but those are the urgent, pressing ones. If I fail on Goal Number 2, odds are that I've also failed on Goal Number 4 and 5. Simply put, if I'm not writing or reading, I'm most definitely spending too much time with the TV remote, addicted celebrities, idiot teen moms, and Snooki. And if that's the case, someone needs to read me the riot act. Who wants that job?

Happy 2011. I have high hopes for this year on the career front. And the reading, writing, running and severing ties with my TV front. Let the fun begin!

Oh, and if this is possible, it won't be long before I'm taking my spaceship to Neptune to sign books for all of my alien fans:

The Year in Review

All in all, 2010 was a great year on the personal front. But a not so great of a year on the career front. Does one of those things trump the other? Yes, in fact, it does. The single most important thing I've learned this year is that personal happiness is key to life. I never realized how miserable my job made me until it was no longer part of my life. That's not to say that I don't want a job. I absolutely do. But, a job will never again rank higher than my family, my happiness and my sanity.

Here's what I loved most about 2010:

Movies: Toy Story 3; Winter's Bone

TV: Friday Night Lights (By far, the best show of the last decade.)

Music: Eminem's Recovery; Kid Rock's Born Free; OneRepublic's Waking Up (released in late 2009, but I didn't discover it until January, so it counts!) And yes, I have a soft spot for musicians from Michigan.

Books: The Hole We're In by Gabrielle Zevin; Room by Emma Donoghue

Destination: A day at the zoo with my two favorite kiddos. I have a weird obsession with the hippo:

Best local news photograph:

Caption: Employee Judy Fernandez is taken into custody by Sgt. Doug Ross (no relation to the Cook County ER doctor played by George Clooney) at the Taco Bell in Del Camino during Operation Private Dancer on Wednesday morning. The operation is a year-long local and federal drug investigation. (Addition by Kate: In case you weren't aware, the local Taco Bell is also participating in Tacos for Touchdowns...)

Significant days of 2010:

February 9: FedEx delivers my new MacBook.

March 25: The official launch of Kate Off the Clock.

July 4: Take first vacation in 10 years where I don't have to check emails and worry about work. Very relaxing and enjoyable. Go figure!

August 1: After multiple phone interviews, I finally land a job as a Production Coordinator at a book publisher. There's just one catch: They NEVER give me anything to do and after multiple inquiries, I finally get this email at the END of September:

I’m sorry to say we’ve had some recent restructuring in (name withheld). Unfortunately, this means we will not be outsourcing any of our file management or project management for the time being. If it is OK, I will keep your contact information on file, and if things change I will let you know.

August 16: The Girl starts kindergarten and I begin my new career as a Room Mom. I think that career will be short lived!

October 21: The Husband and I visit Vegas, and despite my fears, we do not return with bed bugs in our luggage. Let's call that vacation a success!

December 25: Our family celebrates our best Christmas yet. Santa brought me a fancy new toy: Digital video camera!

December 31: I recap my year and realize how truly fortunate I am. Now, if I could just find a little something to keep me busy and bring in some money, I might have the perfect life.

My next blog post will be all about New Year's resolutions. Yippy! Happy New Year! Here's to staying up until midnight and actually seeing 2011 roll in. And here's to also enjoying some cheap champagne and confetti, and reflecting on what a great year 2010 was. Rock on!

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Christmas is a holiday that spawns many memories. Some are fantastic, some are hilarious and some are of the OMG, did that really happen variety. Here are a few of my favorites:

MEMORIES

On Christmas Eve in 2000, as a newlywed, I had an epic meltdown while making sugar cookies. I'm talking legendary, like The Husband and The Brother will still be laughing about it 25 years from now. It involved yelling, swearing, nearly breaking the countertops, and the movie "Gladiator." Oh, and the trash can was also a key player.

On Christmas night, right after The Girl had turned 3, she told us she was excited to go to bed and wake up in the morning again to what Santa had brought. We calmly explained that Santa wouldn't be back for a whole year, so there wouldn't be any presents in the morning. She kept looking at us, not quite comprehending how long a year is. Finally, I said "Santa won't come again until you're 4." She went upstairs, sad and pouting. A few minutes later, she yells down the stairs "Am I 4 yet?!"

As a kid, my brother and I were major snoops. We not only found the presents before Christmas, we opened them up, inserted batteries if necessary, and played with them. Well, one year, on Christmas morning, my brother noticed that one of his presents was missing. He slyly says "I sure was hoping to get a ___________ (one of the few things I can't remember!)" My mom suddenly has a look of panic on her face, runs up the stairs, and returns with said gift.

Another childhood memory of the classic sort involves the roller-skating rink, a go-cart and a phone call. In the early 80s, The Brother and I were big into roller skating. (Don't judge!) The local skating rink was giving away an impossibly cool go-cart for Christmas. We had entered the contest at least 4 dozen times, so we were sure of certain victory. Well, one night, right before Christmas, the phone rings and it's the skating rink asking for my brother. I remember this scene so perfectly, it's crystal clear:

My mom: "It's the skating rink!!"

My brother, running as fast as the 6 Million Dollar Man, and grabbing the phone: "Hello! Hello!"

I stood there, picturing myself zipping around the neighborhood in the go-cart, only to hear a sad, defeated voice say "Oh, OK, thanks" and hang-up the phone.

"What did they say?" asked my mom.

"I won a stuffed Santa," said my brother, looking like the saddest boy on earth. I think my parents still have the Santa. It was about 3-feet tall and very nice. But not a go-cart.

There was the Christmas Eve when the husband and I, alone for the holiday, indulged in way too much holiday cheer of the liquid variety, and opened every single present. Christmas Day was not too exciting that year.

THE BEST

My all-time favorite Christmas gift from childhood is the Barbie motorhome. Remember that one, those of you who grew up in the 70s/80s? If not, go here for a quick look: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1xU20Yg_7Q. It was a GMC knock-off and it was SWEET. I hope my kids get a gift that they will remember forever. Maybe this year is the year, as The Boy is getting a stylin' Big Wheel and The Girl is getting a unicorn castle. Yeah, don't ask.

A close second is the Sesame Street Clubhouse. It was all sorts of awesome and if I had saved it, I could make a small fortune selling it on eBay today. See above for a pic.

THE WORST

There was the Ziploc of liquid, left on my desk at work, with a note attached to it, explaining that it was Friendship Bread batter. Lovely.

Why is it that the people who really shouldn't bake are the ones who give baked goods as Christmas gifts?

One year, my grandparents gave me a homemade something. There is still much debate as to whether it was a clock, a large watch, or something else entirely. For the record, I had the world's best Grandma and I still miss her.

THE MUSIC

Growing up, the only Christmas music my parents owned was "A Perry Como Christmas" or something like that. Whenever that cassette appeared each year, we knew it was officially Christmas. Thankfully, there are much better choices for Christmas music now. My favorite modern Christmas song is "Christmas in Hollis" by Run-D.M.C. This year, I discovered a couple of new favorites: "Peppermint Winter" by Owl City and "Silver Bells" exceptionally done by Relient K. Check 'em out!

To quote "Peppermint Winter" by Owl City "What's December without Christmas Eve?" Here's to magical Christmas memories, baked goods of the edible sort, and celebrating with the ones you love. "Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night."

Holiday Party Recap

Believe it or not, the Husband and I had a fabulous time at his company CHRISTMAS party. I mean, such a good time that I was still feeling a little like I'd had too much of a good time on Sunday. TWO days later. That could also be because I'm old, but we'll go with it.

So, you read it here first: Company Christmas parties can actually be fun! And the food was awesome, plentiful and fully cooked. And, to top it all off, they had a karaoke machine. Nothing screams "I'm an inebriated idiot" like a karaoke machine at a company party. And no, I did not partake. And neither did the Husband. But, if you know him, you already knew that. For the record, we did dance like fools to "Footloose," but really, how can you judge us for that?

Aside from spinning "Footloose" the DJ pretty much sucked. I felt like I was trapped in an early 90s, Top 40 hip-hop bar, as the worst music from that era ("Tootsie Roll," "Rumpshaker" and "Baby Got Back") seemed to dominate the evening. And no Michael Jackson! Really? Yes. Oh, but wait, we did hear a woman decimate "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough" on the karaoke machine. Hilarious.

The desserts were perhaps the best part of the evening, and I'm really not a huge dessert eater. But, chocolate covered cheesecake on a stick must be sampled, yes? And fortune cookies dipped in fudge are a definite must, too. Even my fortune was awesome, too bad I can't remember it!

I'll end with two of my favorite words: Free beer. And not just crappy keg beer, but fancy, expensive bottled beer. God Bless the Husband's company!

Cheers!

I Love this Christmassy Time of Year!

Whoa, when did December get here?! It MUST be December, as the kids are full of extra energy, the newspaper is so full of ads that I actually have to hunt for the content, and there seems to be a Christmas show on TV every night, delaying bedtime for the under 4-foot crowd.

Oh, and another thing about December, hiring is out of the question, as everyone is on vacation. So, while I continue to look for a job, I'm OK with knowing that I won't be getting a job this month. And why is that? Because "I love this Chistmassy time of year!"

I love Christmas, especially the traditions and non-stop activities. What should we do today? Build a gingerbread house? Decorate the tree? Hang the lights? Wrap presents? Bake holiday cookies? Address Christmas cards? The possibilities are endless!

Oh, and let's not forget my favorite pastime: The holiday work party! We'll be attending the Husband's party this year and I'm actually looking forward to it. Why? Because his new company knows how to party in style. No menu restrictions and 3-hour food delays at this party! Open bar! Fancy venue! Discounted hotel room at a fabulous downtown hotel! What's not to love? We are going to have a rip-roaring good time. What defines a rip-roaring good time? Well, it's somewhere between a few drinks and peeing in the elevator. And yes, someone at my old, old job actually peed in the elevator at a holiday party, so I now use that as a parameter when deciding how much alcohol to consume.

The holidays are particularly enjoyable without having to schedule time off, argue about whose turn it is to take off the week of Christmas, and worry about signing all of those ridiculous cards for vendors. And yes, I hope certain people at the Prison get reindeer poop and stale popcorn balls for Christmas. I also hope they get fruit cakes soaked in curry from Bombay.

Don't be surprised if I suddenly announce "I'm going to be a dentist" after my 400th viewing of Rudolph. My favorite part of Rudolph is when Hermey and Rudolph sing "We're a Couple of Misfits." The line "You can't fire me, I quit!" is always sung extra loud, with feeling, by me. I suspect it will always hold a special place in my heart.

Here's to happy holidays, spiked egg nog, Christmas cheer and truly enjoying the season. XOXXO