I gave up blogging a few years ago and I've missed it ever since. I got to the point where I said everything I wanted to say. At least I did at that time in my life. Now, I have more to say, so Kate Off the Clock has been revived. It's a rebirth. A relaunch. Rebranding. Whatever you want to call it is fine with me.
A lot has changed since I last posted. For starters, I lost my Dad and a piece of my heart went with him. But, it's that loss that ultimately led me back to my true self. Sometimes it takes a tragedy to have that much needed flash of clarity. And of course it takes many trips down the wrong road before you finally make that turn on the road to redemption.
In my case, my road to redemption involved a life changing event at a local Starbuck's. For a long time, I felt so humiliated and angry that I couldn't even address it. But now? Now I'm finally free and can look at that Starbuck's patio for what it is: The Patio of Destiny. (My brilliant 12-year-old daughter came up with this very appropriate name over the summer.)
I know, it sounds a bit grandiose and ridiculous. But, there are certain experiences in life that will stay with us forever. We might see these experiences in different ways over time, but a truly life-defining moment never leaves you. It becomes a part of you. A part of your history. In my case, it took me awhile to see this moment for what it really was, but once I did, I realized that it needed to happen to me.
The nutshell version of the story is this: I had a job in home healthcare (!) that I hated and quite honestly, I wasn't well suited for. A very good friend of mine was my boss. Ten days prior to the referenced incident, I was transferred to the Denver office where I received a new boss, whose name I will never utter again. New Boss didn't like anyone questioning her. I made the fatal error of questioning her on something.
Not long after questioning New Boss, I received an invitation to meet at the local Starbuck's on a Friday at 9AM. Old Boss was also on the invite. Old Boss knew what was going to happen at Starbuck's and she failed to give me a head's up. She failed on many levels, but not telling me ahead of time was the worst. There are certain times in life where you get the sinking feeling in your gut that something is very wrong. I've learned that it's best to always go with that feeling.
I arrived at the Starbuck's on July 25, 2014 and ordered my favorite drink. I then took a seat on the patio and scanned the parking lot for the arrival of the others and the impending doom that I knew was coming. And sure enough, the two bosses walked up, one carrying a very ominous folder. The next few minutes are a blur in my otherwise stellar memory, but I do know that I was fired in a public place, given a letter (which I still read once in a while), a check, and sent on my way.
The hours, days and weeks that followed this awful and humiliating event are not some of my finest. To say I went off the rails would be an understatement. It wasn't until I saw a quote from a motivational speaker that I pulled it together and looked at the much bigger picture:
"You either get bitter or you get better. It's that simple. You either take what has been dealt to you and allow it to make you a better person, or you allow it to tear you down. The choice does not belong to fate, it belongs to you." —Josh Shipp
So, in early October of 2014, with the help of my very amazing and patient husband and very supportive mom, I finally launched the business that I had been envisioning for nearly 20 years. I came back with a vengeance and a steely determination to make it. Getting fired lit a blaze in my soul. The fuse was there for nearly 2 decades, it just needed a spark to get going. A public firing was, apparently, just what I needed to ignite my inner fire. And from those flames, Flipside Production was born and has been burning brightly ever since.
And here I am, 2+ years later: Successful, grateful, happy. And now when I look back to that day on the Starbuck's patio, I see it for what it was: A defining moment. They did me a favor by cutting me loose. Being free allowed me to pursue what I really wanted to do and put me on the right path to be who I have always wanted to be: My own boss. Did I deserve to be fired? No. Did they have to fire me in public? Hell no. But, it sure makes for a great story.
And what about Old Boss? Well, she is my exercise in forgiveness and we have slowly repaired our friendship over the years. New Boss? She can rot in hell. I know she will get hit by a karma train at some point and that is enough. Although, is there any greater revenge than landing on your feet, better off than you were before?
In all honesty, it was extremely difficult for me to see the "silver lining" in this situation. It took quite some time before I could look back on it and be able to take something positive away. Before this happened to me, the following things were true: I was not a very forgiving person. I had a lot of pride. I blindly trusted others. I invested too much of myself in friendships. I rarely failed at anything. I believed that loyalty was the most important character attribute, even though I had few loyal people in my inner circle. I thought I was strong, although my strength had rarely been tested.
The take away is this: Forgiveness sets you free, although I still struggle with this one from time to time. (Thankfully, I have a best friend who helps me in this area.) Pride can be lost and found again. Friendship is a gift. Trust has to be earned. Failure is not fatal and failing actually makes you stronger. If you're not loyal, I don't need you. Finding out I was stronger than I realized became another one of my life's defining moments.
Very few people know this story. Many people have asked over the last couple of years about the back story on Flipside Production. I wasn't able to tell it until now.
Behind every business, there is a story. This is the Flipside story and I'm so thankful that I can now say "See you on the Flipside" and know that is has actual, literal meaning.
The very awesome tunes playing in the background while writing this: Spirits, the Strumbellas; Closer, The Chainsmokers; Good Grief, Bastille; Could Have Been Me, The Struts; A Murder of One, Counting Crows; Hold Back the River, James Bay; Cake By the Ocean, DNCE; Ghost, Ella Henderson
